What ACTUALLY makes us Happy...

What Makes Us Happy:

Savor enjoyable moments; whether it’s a hot shower or a really excellent donut, take a few seconds to really enjoy it. It also helps if someone else is there with you. (Happier experiences are made more so when with friends)

Other savoring tools: use negative visualization, aka think about how you would feel if you didn’t have this awesome donut/hot water/friend?

Gratitude:
Recalling the good things in our life increases our well-being
For a super happiness boost that lasts for months, consider a gratitude letter
Other ways to boost gratitude: Think as if today was your last day (we enjoy things more if we think they’re ending)
Interrupt your joy (take a short break from whatever fun thing you’re experiencing; when you come back to it later, your joy will be much increased (even commercial breaks have been shown to increase our enjoyment of shows)

Kindness:
Similar to gratitude, counting kindnesses (bestowed to you by others or bestowed by you towards others) makes you happier
Practicing 5 random acts of kindnesses (such as buying a stranger coffee, giving $5 to a cause you care about, putting change in a parking meter about to expire, doing the dishes for your tired spouse) once per week make us much happier
Money can buy happiness if you spend it on the right things, aka on others rather than yourself (paper | book)
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Social Connection:
Having stronger social ties makes you not only happier but healthier
Talking to strangers makes us happier — this one truly shocked me. I hate talking to strangers
Practice time affluence (valuing your free time over money + it helps you be more social)
Flow
Doing activities that involve some skill puts us in a state of flow and make us feel better, more purposeful (Book by Mihaly Csikszentmihalyi)

Features of flow include:
Challenging but attainable goals (one organizational psychologist played hours of MarioKart to get into a flow state). Watching Netflix, by comparison, doesn’t help flow because it’s not challenging and doesn’t involve any skill
Requires concentration
Intrinsically rewarding (no trophies or social media hearts)
Timelessness (time seems to fly by)

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