@Goldenheart2911
This works great when dealing with two healthy open-minded individuals. These same rules don't apply though when you are dealing with an unhealthy, toxic and/or narcissistic individual; which is why it's important to know the type of person you are dealing with first before deciding on how to proceed.💛 I do agree with you 💯 though Simon in that some of the healthiest and happiest relationships are the ones in which both sides allow themselves to genuinely, authentically, honestly and respectfully come together and agree to have these types of uncomfortable conversations with one another. 💛 Healthy communication is essential in order for our relationships with ourselves and others to grow, deepen and continue to thrive.✨
@melbeth79
I did this a few years ago. It's uncomfortable to address the elephant in the room but worth it. There's no gaurentee things will last after doing this though. It takes both sides to want it and that's the risk you take. In our case she told me she didn't think the friendship was sustainable anymore but thankfully we parted on civil terms. I still believe the risk to have difficult conversations is worth it though. If they decide to walk away that has to be respected even if it hurts. It's their perogative.
@fungboy3993
Part of that difficult conversation is being willing to listen and understand each other's viewpoint being different and respecting it over protecting their own ego
@mrtony3152
It highly depends upon 2nd person too and you cant do anything about it, you might have the skill and sincerity to engage but he/she might not and that is the main problem I face.
@chrisochoa6103
This video was a Godsend. This video literally popped up on my feed about 30 mins before I had to confront my son in law and call him out. This video made it so much easier and helped me salvage my relationship with him.
@PascalBachmann
I would add that it is important to be prepared for these conversations by rehearsing what you want to say, listening actively to the other person, and being respectful of their feelings. It is also important to remember that uncomfortable conversations are often necessary for building strong relationships and resolving conflict.
@aliciagc2539
Simon seems like a very genuine and caring person. I like him.
@jessel8833
This is a very tough, but important skill. I run a small business, and often become very close with many employees. We spend so much time together. Labor intensely side by side (the whole "blood, sweat, & tears). It becomes daunting & incredibly difficult to have conversations regarding tense issues. This is great feedback. The way you approach others, no matter how difficult the topic, or the person, matters. If you can be humble, understanding, curious, listening, respectful -- it always produces a much better discussion & outcome. I know, because I have failed at so many prior to hearing Simon help hash out more kind & efficient alternatives to broaching these situations. Thank you.
@leadfromhereco
Love this. Labeling the emotions and feelings effectively is the easiest way to keep difficult conversations on the right track.
@NathanHarrison7
This guy is brilliant on so many levels. I would subscribe 100 times if I could. One of the reasons why I so very much appreciate him is that he is more interested in truly helping you then he is in demonstrating his own intelligence. He truly wants to help. He distills the complexity of human relationships in a way that makes it easy to understand and apply. Should be required viewing.
@ideationink
I've seen some comments about how this doesn't work with unhealthy individuals. But, actually, it does. In fact it works better than most may think. By setting a precedent that what you're about to say could cause them to feel uncomfortable, it really does show them that you care enough about them--that you are putting their feelings in a priority above your own; because you're risking the potential of a blow up and things being worse. My friend taught this years ago, he said his wife learned it from her mother. She would wait until things were quiet and there was no risk of distraction or 'outside' threat. Then she'd just say, "You know how much I truly love and care about you--and about us. Because of that, I need to talk to you about something important. I have no doubt it's going to make you feel uncomfortable, maybe even hurt or defensive. But understand, that is not my intent and if there were any other way to resolve this, I wouldn't hesitate. I just know that I value your participation and respect you so much, that I want us to be able to see and hopefully resolve this together." Then she would share what the issue was. And she would use "I" statements. There was no pointing the finger. She would say, when this happened (describing the situation or event), I felt this (describing the reaction). She would give all the credit possible, reassuring her husband that she knew his intent was not to hurt or harm in any way. But it was important to her--and to them--that this kind of thing doesn't happen again if at all possible. It's similar to the Love & Logic approach. Using natural scenarios to teach, followed up by love and empathy. Yes, some will react adversely no matter how much of the latter to provide. Some are so broken and feel so worthless that no amount of reassurance will make it okay. But given I've been there--on both sides--I can say, it's always worth trying. Because even when the other person explodes and runs away, they'll still be thinking about it and eventually, the seed planted in that exchange will grow. Never underestimate the planting of the seed. Even in scarred ground.♥
@keremcemutuk4937
It's sad, that I need to watch videos like this, to be able to address my feelings to other people, cuz I simply haven't been able to start a discussion about my feelings without leading it to an argument with both of us beeing sad, angry and without any solution. So thank you for making videos like this 🙏🏻
@ablanccanvas
Thank you! Thank you! Thank you! I am the ‘one’ who is always running in the other direction ( 🏃🏼♀️💨flight ) when it comes to having discussions like this. Done it all my life. Have had plenty of practice. But I have always hated the feelings I was left with from not knowing how to behave in these types of situations. 😕 Your offering ‘the words’ is what I always look for when seeking new learning. Best of all - the words sound honest + respectful. The bonus in this lesson, for me, was that you seemed to have ‘deepened’ your new relationship BECAUSE you respectfully addressed the ‘awkward conversation’. Thank you for ‘the words’. They are powerful + empowering. 😌❤
@kimberlysmithkolasa2047
Leaning into discomfort truly helps with growth, either personally or in relationships. Thank you for sharing this process and how it worked for you.
@dameanvil
0:00 ❓ Frequent question about handling uncomfortable conversations. 0:06 🧠 Importance of human skills in managing discomfort. 0:19 🏃♂ Avoidance isn't effective; leaning into tension is better. 0:32 📉 Lack of skills can worsen uncomfortable conversations. 1:08 🛠 Essential skill: how to have uncomfortable conversations. 1:15 💬 Stating the need for an uncomfortable conversation helps prepare the other person. 1:33 🙏 If unsure, ask for patience and express the importance of the conversation. 2:10 🕰 Ask for permission and timing to ensure readiness for the conversation. 2:30 📋 Use the FBI mnemonic: Feelings, Behavior, Impact. 2:45 🎭 Be specific with feelings, avoid vague terms like "angry." 3:04 🧐 Avoid generalizations like "you always"; focus on specific instances. 3:17 🛑 Address the fear of negative impacts if the behavior continues. 3:31 🤝 Example: uncomfortable conversation with a new friend to prevent relationship damage. 4:06 🌱 Result: improved relationship through open and honest dialogue. 4:17 🎓 Practice uncomfortable conversations to develop the skill.
@MrCabimero
1- I agree with a lot of comments here about it takes a receptive person for this to work. 2-I have taught SBI to all my team members as I find it a good skill, but refer back to #1. Lastly, sometimes all this Kumbaya should be replaced with, “ you are an asshole, and if you don’t stop, this relationship, job etc is not going to work. Make up your mind about how you want to proceed. Because I am done with it. “
@catsmith9393
So many people and relationships could benefit from learning these kinds of skills, thanks for taking the time to make a video like this.
@mindful-man-365
Recommend non-violent communication - it works very well in situations like this, but avoids the 'made' me feel that way issue, where people will feel blamed. And you can get to the underlying needs behind the behaviours, and enables a clear request for change of strategies (which is the level at which more discomfort occurs)
@LeadershipWisdomFromTheBible
So practical!!! Love it, thanks for sharing. My wife and I did something similar in our first year of marriage. We decided to have marriage reviews every month, and there were critical conversations that needed to be had, and I found that the information isn't the problem, it's the way you position it. This is a great framework in taking the pressure off to actually grow that relationship as opposed to having resentment build up 👏
@vischo